This is a follow-up to my previous post about how to potentially show up for someone who has been given the news that they are terminally ill. I am hearing about so many people who are battling so many illnesses at such young ages and I just want to be caring and supportive in any way I can. There are 5 stages of grief.
I am not the one receiving the news so I truly have no idea what it feels like. I am extremely sensitive and empathetic, but it still won’t compare. This post is for any of you who may have a loved one who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness or you yourself have been. Just want to put out some information to hopefully help in any capacity.
The purpose of this post is to help shed some light on the grieving process. It’s to hopefully comprehend what someone who has a terminal illness may be going through. Or if you yourself are going through this maybe this could help even if just a little. We are here if you need an ear. Please reach out via the “Contact Us” tab on the site. Everyone needs someone sometimes.
5 Stages of Grief
- Denial. This is a period in which someone refuses to admit what is actually happening to them. For many, this is a coping mechanism. We aren’t taught how to deal with stuff like this. Each of us faces our mortality in different ways. We know we aren’t going to live forever, but when we get news that we have a terminal illness and only have x amount of time to live I’m sure all kinds of stories go through our minds.
- Anger. Becoming angry after receiving news like that can enrage people. I mean really! Becoming resentful of how this could happen to us. Blaming others for what has happened. Possibly yelling at doctors or those around them. After all, it has to be the toughest news anyone could get. Anger is a normal reaction and we have to do our best to just be there for our loved one the best way we can. Again, there isn’t a manual on how we can show up for someone but letting our love shine could help.
- Bargaining. The thoughts and statements like “If only” will manifest quickly to try to make sense of it all. Blaming ourselves or others for how things have played out is usually a big part of it. We know that these “If only” exchanges aren’t feasible, but it’s often how we process things. We have a complete loss of control and navigating it in the moment is like a bull in a shop. For people who have been given the news, the bargaining response could be, “If only I would have gone to the doctor earlier when I wasn’t feeling well.” For a loved one, we may have responded, “If only I was home more to recognize the signs.”
- Depression. The loneliness, hopelessness, and sadness all start to set in. These feelings are inevitable. Many who have received the news will process it in different ways. There could be many changes during this stage of grief. Many may refuse to see others, and become complete recluses. They may want to spare others from witnessing the decline.
- Acceptance. This last stage comes with a certain type of calmness and introspective views of oneself. Sometimes people will be able to make peace with it and soak in as much as they can until the time comes. Embracing our mortality is always challenging. I can’t imagine having to go through this and trying to give meaning to the timeline.
As stated above if you or someone you know needs to vent we are here to listen. Hugs to each of you.
