Silence is so loud and we always feel we need to say something. To speak up and defend our ground perhaps. Our minds are always working and in heated conversations or sensitive topics, we tend to just fire away and not necessarily think about the delivery. Sometimes it’s ok to remain silent.
I myself am one of those people that just always seems to feel the need to say things and I am learning to recognize the signs of when I should just stay silent. This for me is a new idea, but with practice, I believe that it will prove to be very beneficial for my sanity, mental health, and well-being.
It is important for me to be clear that this post isn’t strictly about refraining from defending oneself in discussions, but also in any other situation where silence on one side could be helpful. This is good, especially during empathetic moments. We tend to want to tell others one of our stories when we have heard what they are going through.
When we come from a safe space it makes others feel at ease. If you just heard someone tell you that they are dying of a terminal illness please don’t just fire off some story about your cousin Susie who died because she was texting and walking and got run over by a city bus. Give the people in front of you the time to let things out if they want. Try to reverse the roles in the conversation and maybe that will help.
Here are some times when we should just remain silent:
During times when we should be actively listening. This is a big one for many but we don’t really understand it. In conversations, arguments, debates, or any dialogue that’s back and forth we should always know when it is our turn to speak and when to stay silent. We need to give people the space to speak properly without being interrupted or to make them feel attacked. Listen, listen, listen. If we keep quiet for a bit we will hear more and know more about the situation.
During times when we don’t have anything nice to say. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. This is one that many of us have seemed to have magically forgotten from our childhood. The crazy part is I have no clue how many of us have forgotten. I believe it was on the chalkboard for most of my elementary
During times when our emotions are running high. This is especially important because we are usually so quick to react and say whatever comes to mind. We may need to take a step back and remain silent until we have calmed down and gained some clarity.
During times when our words really won’t be able to change the situation. Sometimes we could be talking to someone and we know that that person is completely shut off to anything we would have to say and it just becomes pointless to say anything.
During times when we just don’t have enough information. Please don’t be a commentator to something you have no knowledge of. We could really make a mess of things when we do that. Take the time to understand what’s going on.
Bonus: If you are pulled over by police doing 206mph in a 70mph zone this would really be a great time for you to remain silent! Ha
Conclusion
Not every situation needs comments and it’s ok to remain silent. There is a lot to learn when we are still and quiet. We get nervous sometimes and feel we need to add to things. Be mindful of when it’s time to talk and when it’s time to be quiet.
