Stop losing your cool. Are you hot-headed? You know that’s not good for you. Even if you get your way a lot by losing your temper, you need to understand that is not the way to do it. You need to rewire your internal circuits.
We aren’t born with a user manual and many of us go through life just reacting to situations that come upon us in the moment. If you were in a bad mood before for whatever reason there could be a knee-jerk reaction to whatever just happened. You may have ended up saying or doing things that hurt those around you.
Losing your temper could result in you ruining relationships that may be important to you. You could lose good people in your life unnecessarily. Additionally, you will more than likely lose the respect by your peers. Technically I don’t care what people think of me, but I am glad I don’t have this trait. Note: if you do have this trait it could cost a lot more than others respect.
In life, we really need to learn how to treat others and be more empathetic. De-escalating people that are irrational and irate can be extremely difficult. It usually ends up worse and then leads to arguments and animosity. That is just an uncomfortable feeling.
It is important to learn emotional control. Having situational awareness is also a great thing to have ongoing. If you can manage your emotions and react calmly despite tough situations, you will start to develop inner strength. You will be learning and growing in healthy ways. Maturity starts to take the stage!
Here are some super good ways to temper your frustrations:
(in no magical order)
- Effective Communication: Pay attention to when you get frustrated. Try to be as calm and respectful as possible. After all, we can’t fix things if everyone is upset. Also, listen to others and be silent. Your turn, my turn. Take some time to try to understand the other person’s perspective. It’s a good idea to get professional help when needed.
- Stress Relief: Good old-fashioned exercise usually does wonders to calm the frustration. You can also take up a hobby that speaks to you. Sometimes what we need is a good distraction. Many times when we are frustrated, it doesn’t necessarily stem from a present situation, but rather stuff from our past that is still unresolved.
- Positive Thoughts: Positive thoughts are a great starting point and try to not dwell on the problem. Get creative to try to resolve things. Learning to have gratitude will also help temper your frustrations. Try to find the goodness whenever possible.
- Validate Your Emotions: It’s ok to feel how you feel. Recognize your emotions even if they don’t make you feel good. People usually react blindly and never pay attention to the initial frustration. If you suppress your emotions eventually you will explode or continue to do the same things. Find the root of it and work on that.
- Identify The Triggers: This one could be tough because in many cases, having a bad temper usually started long before. I discovered this about myself during a road rage incident I was involved in. Yes, I figured it out at over 100mph. Good part was that no one got hurt and I managed to defuse my own issue in the moment and it lead me to temper my frustrations ongoing. I am able to be more calm and rational in the moment. Be honest with yourself and your tendencies.
- Mindfulness: You can practice deep breathing exercises, sitting calmly in silence, and you will start to reduce tension.
- Situational Awareness: You need to develop the ability to respond and understand what’s going on around you. Recognize, assess, and respond.
Conclusion
Tempering your frustrations isn’t always easy, but you should start to uncover the reasons sooner rather than later. Be easy on yourself, but make the strides to correct the habit. Each new day gives you the opportunity to move in the right direction. Calm, cool, and collected!
