To achieve emotional success we need to dig into some things not talked about much. We don’t hear much about our emotions and how they can play an ongoing role during the pursuit of success. To accomplish being emotionally successful to me means one must first do some soul searching. You need to understand your emotions and how it plays a role in your day to day life. Are you very resilient and not down own yourself with each obstacle thrown in your direction or does any given negative situation bring you down and you clam up? The importance of recognizing this is because if you are down on yourself and don’t know how to cope with your feelings during situations, it could be potentially harmful to your overall goals.
Learn to understand your emotions
Let’s rewind a bit. As a young man early on I didn’t understand anything about emotions and the importance of having them in check, so everything was worn on my sleeves with no direction to the world. It’s true, I wear my heart on my sleeves and it leaves me prone to attacks from people with bad intentions. I have learned the past few years on how to navigate and circumvent these types of scenarios, so my confidence is certainly building back up. Is it easy?
No, but it is very important to display neutrality with your emotions in certain circumstances. Example: Let’s say you go to a new car dealership to purchase a car you really want but don’t want to sell your kidneys to do so. If you go in and are overexcited and concerned about another customer purchasing it before you, the dealer will use the emotional buying part and end up getting more for the car than if you detach the emotion and play the game. I never liked that game. At all. To be emotionally successful one must truly have inner peace and awareness.
You need to be aware of your past history with your emotions and you need to have confidence in yourself and in your abilities to tackle anything life throws at you with an even temperament. Zen Buddha type stuff I know, but hear me out. To understand where you have been will give you guidance on where you want to go in life. Emotions are a large feature of who we are whether positive or negative. It is said that we have about 3000 words to describe our emotions. Interestingly, out of those words, only a little more than 1000 are positive emotions. Hmmm.
Anger is rooted in your past
Anger is a very big emotion that is reactive. How you react in the present moment speaks volumes about your content and character. Believe it or not, anger is rooted in our past. But why? To my understanding, (not that I am a Clinical Psychologist) being angry in the present moment has to do with previous situations in life that have hurt you and were never dealt with. Meaning, you have never worked on those emotional issues to help you move forward. Being afraid, being hurt, and being aggravated are all pieces to the angry puzzle. Being fearful of something important to you and it happens, creates anger. The mind has obsessed and dreaded being let down for a period of time and then it happens. Much like a kid that wants a certain present for their birthday and doesn’t get it. They could also be spoiled brats! Ha.
Sadness and despair can keep you down
Sadness and despair are emotions that we also feel based on what has happened to us over time. Having a lot of sadness in our lives can and will bring us down. It takes a toll on our health and overall happiness. It’s like a numbers game. If 60% percent of your world is full of sadness than what do you think you will project to the outside world?
Don’t get me wrong, sadness is very good to have in your world but not on a mass scale. We can be sad for others with our empathy. We can be sad for ourselves because we may have lost something but it’s how we choose to use the energy in the situation that will make the difference. Redirecting the emotion into a learning moment and viewing it as a positive will go a long way with how you can manage your emotions.
When you are in a business situation and you are being challenged by another, you will become defensive. You will want to protect yourself, but if you get angry and start arguing, you can quickly lose ground and it will not be productive. Learning to stand your ground firmly without arguing and getting angry will be very helpful. People will respect your position more that way. We lose so much time and energy in these emotions that are counterproductive and overtime just wear us down, emotionally and physically.
Channel your frustration Young Jedi
For many years I was known as Hulk. Yes, the big angry green guy. In my business world I was a very professional, approachable and caring individual, but after a while of debating with a client or prospect in a negative way caused me to react. I would only get this way if I felt I was being disrespected or if the other party was lying. Having that way of battling anger didn’t make me feel good at all.
I was very good at achieving whatever task at hand but it wore me down. Don’t turn green. Learn what your triggers are and learn to disengage when possible. Learn to apply the emotions in the present time, by understanding that the anger and frustration just don’t help. Wait, that’s not always true. Anger can serve you. Some people can get angry and get those superhuman powers to lift a car off of someone pinned down at an accident. It’s a gray area I guess, but you get the point hopefully.
Conclusion
It is important to regulate your emotions and be aware of your environment. A good example would be a thermostat. Be the thermostat, not the temperature. Become aware of your present moment. Meditate. Reflect so you can appreciate and be grateful for what you have in life. Give to others as much as possible. Surrender the old, absorb the new.
Fear:
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.
What are three things you plan on working on towards being emotionally successful? If you feel you are emotionally successful, please give us some feedback on how to approach it.
******Please respond to the questions here with us so we can learn and grow. The good and the bad will help others recognize successes and failures in our own lives. Thank you so very much!******
