So, what’s the deal with self-talk? Have you noticed what you say about yourself throughout your day? Self-talk is what you say to yourself. This is real and people do it all the time. Sometimes you say good things and other times you don’t. You may not realize it but it is very important to recognize it for the purposes of progress within yourself.
Do I say bad things about myself
Self-talk inner dialog can propel you to move in a forward direction or drag you down. Perhaps this inner discussion has been holding you back for a long time. What are you saying to yourself? You may have caught yourself saying something bad after a perceived failure. “Why do I have to be so careless?” That one statement can spiral into a series of other negative statements about yourself which could literally ruin your day if you let it.
Negative self-talk will put you in a bad mood real quick and it may not let up. Beating yourself up about it won’t help your mood or progress moving forward. You will only repeat it over and over reliving whatever situation pulled you down. The negative train will not stop at that one location. It will just keep going reminding you about many other negative situations.
Positive self-talk is certainly a better way of going about your day regardless. It just feels better. Being a positive person on the outside is great, but you also need to be positive with yourself. Give yourself credit for the good things you do day in and day out. The self-talk doesn’t even have to come directly after a negative situation. Use it to reaffirm yourself even when things are going well.
I will say good things about myself
Self-talk is so impactful on your way of thinking that there are even techniques on how to do it better. According to Brene Brown professor, lecturer, motivational speaker, and author, you should change your self-talk dialog from “I” and “me” to speaking to yourself in the third person. Say your name when in the self-talk process instead. Don’t doubt yourself and your abilities.
This seems kind of silly. By saying your name first it will alert the brain and make you recognize what words will follow. Start paying attention to what and how you respond to situations that arise. You may be surprised as to how negative you can be about yourself. Make note about how you react. There could be a negative pattern that will be important for you to turn around. For example, you may be saying that you are such an “idiot” for doing something in particular.
Stop bashing yourself
The “idiot” bash on yourself could mean more than just a mess up. It could mean that you truly feel inadequate and not intelligent. This could have been your whole life of self-talk or even negative comments from others. So, at this point, it is important to pull that statement out of your head and self-talk. Write it down and dig into it by reflecting. “Am I really an idiot?” More than likely it’s far from the truth. I rooting for you to not be an idiot! But if you are we can help.
If your response is that you are not actually an “idiot” then fantastic! You can now remove that and move on to replacing that one statement with something better. What could you say instead of “I am a complete idiot?” Try saying, “I have the knowledge and ability to accomplish this!” See, that sounds way better and it will even make you feel better. Sure, you may have fumbled on something a bit but your recovery will be smoother. You will be able to look at it in a different way and hopefully get your emotions about yourself back on track.
I can fix this
Now if your response was that you actually are an “idiot” then it’s time for Plan B. Plan B will be what I am nick-naming, the recovery period. Time to get into it and work on why and how you feel that way. What proof do you have? Yeah, this may be a big can of worms but if you don’t get through the “idiot” feeling and statements you will keep coming back to it.
Idiot by definition means, a stupid person. I don’t really believe that there are stupid people. Ok, scratch that, there are a lot of stupid people. There certainly isn’t a shortage of stupid people, but you get what I mean. Right? People that try things and aren’t getting it as quickly just means that there may be a need for a different learning approach.
Starting to work on the areas you feel you are lacking will hopefully give you more confidence. The more confidence you get the easier it will be to get back on track with your self-talk. “(your name here) is really doing a great job at believing in him/herself!” There you go, much better!
What is currently your most negative and most positive self-talk statement? Where did it come from and how do you feel it affects you, good or bad?
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