Have you ever been hurt so deeply that you just can’t forgive someone? I certainly have and my heart has many deep scars that have become a road map of my life. Not forgiving people and carrying around the wounded memories has a way of ruining the goodness within us. Learning to have forgiveness is very complicated depending on where you are in your life. Learn and understand the importance of forgiveness.
forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
The difficult part about it is that when we are hurt and feel violated we tend to internalize the offense and usually start thinking that we aren’t worthy in some way or another. Sometimes we feel we aren’t a good friend, lover, or worker so that’s why it happened to us. Your self-esteem and self-worth can diminish over time.
Learning forgiveness and experiences
The process of forgiveness isn’t just for the benefit of the other party, but forgiving others has a way of helping us heal and over time we can start seeing others in a better light. Believe it or not, forgiveness is mainly for ourselves. Many times our experiences shape how we perceive the world around us. If we are constantly bombarded with negativity and chaos that’s pretty much how we will display ourselves to those around us.
This has a way of eroding at our souls if left unchecked. The overall purpose of forgiving isn’t to excuse or justify the person’s actions. You don’t even need to tell them that you forgive them. Additionally, you don’t even need to continue the relationship at all. It’s a way for us to be able to move on and reduce the emotional baggage that many of us carry around. These are our emotions and we can pick and choose how we go about handling each situation. I personally have come a long way with this and this has contributed to my unbreakable spirit.
We are responsible for how we feel
It is important for each of us to take the experiences that have hurt us and learn from them. This will help us learn more about ourselves and how we process pain and hurt. Another reason forgiveness is complicated is because many times we don’t know how we feel about the situation, how to resolve it, and how to move on. It can be compounded when it’s people who we for whatever reason need to be around on the daily. For example, coworkers, family, and so on. I mean we could always hire a hit crew to remove said people, however then we open up another emotional can of stuff we will have to deal with later. Let’s stick with the healthiest ways first shall we!
When we forgive we have a wonderful opportunity to be more open and understanding. We all make mistakes and sometimes we are truly hurt accidentally and it wasn’t some big conspiracy against us as we initially believed. It is my belief that if you go through life feeling that the whole world is out to get you, you won’t truly be affording yourself the opportunity to be open to others.
Conclusion
We get hurt by others a lot in life and we need to learn how to process the hurt and move on. Forgiveness is a key part of this process. Your overall health and well-being will be in a better state the sooner that you can accomplish this. As stated before, forgiveness is a process over time and there’s no quick one size fits all remedy. The forgiving process is for you, not other people.
