The pains of life, for many, can create the discovery of their passion. Our history helps mold us and shape us into who we are today, some good, and some not so good. For the sake of keeping the good flow with Ridiculously Enjoy Life, let’s go with the goodness, shall we?! Do you know what your passion is? If not you may be surprised to find it through the pains you have been through.
But first, let’s rewind far into our pasts. For me, I had some difficult and challenging times as a teenager. My family and I moved from Puerto Rico to the mainland when I was thirteen years old. Atlanta, GA in the late 80s was a completely different environment for me. I apparently looked different than my peers so I had to navigate some of the racial stereotypes that I had no clue even existed.
Finding my groove
Luckily after a bit, I got into my own rhythm and groove. I didn’t bend to following others. Skateboarding was my life, so thankfully I ended up being surrounded by a diverse group of skateboarders. We were certainly a colorful band of outcasts! Our group always lifted each other up when needed.
The area was violent with gangs and of course, it created a crazy environment. My saving grace during that time was that I was humorous, which oddly enough made me untouchable from the different groups. Believe me, I took that as a great sign of respect. Being in an area in constant chaos makes you feel unsettled 24/7. I can still recall many instances where shootings would break out and all of us scrambling.
Those experiences did take a toll on my overall mental wellbeing as you could probably imagine. I continued on through life the best way I knew how which was always in survival mode, not thriving. Even after moving away from the chaos and mayhem of South Atlanta, I navigated life with my defense systems up. These pains of life don’t just disappear, they are embedded deep within you. I never learned to understand and process those pains.
Society frowns upon men who show their emotions. Why? I have no clue. My personality is based on emotions. I wear my heart on my sleeves and would hope never to change that. It is difficult because many people with bad intentions can try to take advantage of someone’s good nature. The important thing is to learn about yourself to recognize certain characteristic traits that could potentially be exploited.
Find your passion helping others
At a very young age, I started helping others in any way I could. I can recall being a Red Cross Volunteer in a hospital and there was such a sense of happiness within as I connected with others in need. This was the time period where my passion was starting to develop. I didn’t know that helping others was going to be my path, but I felt such a deep sense of pride.
Later in life, I got married and had two amazing daughters. Unfortunately, I was with the wrong person and completely lost myself during the relationship. My dreams and aspirations were discounted by my partner, which caused me to completely internalize everything in a negative way. Throughout the relationship, it was spent chasing her dreams only. The marriage was a complete disaster and after 14 years it was time to move on to a new chapter.
Something that is very important and I hope you recognize it in your own worlds is that no one can make you feel any certain way. It is you that chooses how to feel. The reactions, the processing, and the healing are on you. I, unfortunately, allowed being treated in a negative way ongoing. If you are in that world please take the time to process and create a path to change yourself first and foremost and your environment. If not it could always continue to happen.
Emotional pain can help you find your passion
There was a lot of emotional pain that I went through, but I finally arrived at a point in my life during the divorce process that I created Ridiculously Enjoy Life. It was created as a saying to help me get through the darkness of my environment. I envisioned a different world for myself and this was the way for me to charge forward with my head held high.
After so many years passing by, I discovered that I completely lost myself and didn’t know who I was. Next, I started the very difficult work of learning and growing internally. The rebuilding of my emotional self was key to rediscovering my passions in life. The pain, the suffering, and the uncertainty shocked my system in a way that was necessary for the goodness to come alive. Finding passions through the pain I’ve experienced makes me have no regrets. Sometimes you have to create a new state of mind.
Conclusion
We all have so many stories of hardships throughout our lives. No one’s life is perfect and it shouldn’t be. We are human and have many emotions that we experience which affords us the opportunity to learn how to navigate through them to get us back on track. Good things can come from sadness and despair, you just have to open your eyes and accept that it is a part of life.
